The Thing That Annoys Me About Miley Cyrus & the VMAs

yikes

yikes

Okay, I know everyone and their dog is babbling about Miley’s performance at the VMAs but I feel the need to clarify a few things.

1. What she was doing was NOT TWERKING.  Twerking has been around since Miley was a lil disney star named Hannah Banana or some crap.  Twerking is an art form that takes skill and an ass, and what she did was just shake her body where she should have an ass.

See the ORIGINAL Twerk Team here: (note this video was uploaded to YouTube 4 years ago)

2.  What the hell was up with her tongue?  So awkward.  She reminded me of a retarded cat or something.  If she is trying to be sexy, maybe she should change her strategy.

3.  And her outfit?  Did her stylist think that was a good idea?  Did she fire her stylist? Did anyone look at her and tell her she looks like a crack whore?

4.  The air humping with the foam finger penis?!  Reminds me of this middle-aged woman I saw at Senor Frogs in Mexico when I was 18.  The balloon animal guy made her a balloon penis and she strapped it on and would thrust it at people on the dance floor.  #classy

Miley, please go away.  You clearly can’t sing or act and trying to be edgy isn’t working for you either.  I am only trying to help.  #thetruthhurts