Parenting Advice From the Best Dad EVER!

In honor of my Dad’s bday today, I thought I would drop some parenting knowledge on y’all that I learned from the OG Droog himself:

  1. Raise your kids on a steady diet of Classic Rock, Star Wars, Star Trek, and Kubrick films.
  2. When your kids are learning to walk, stick your foot out to trip them.  Not only does it make them better at walking (and life), but it is also entertaining.
  3. When your kids are annoying you, tell them to go play in traffic.
  4. When your kids are fighting, tell them to go in the backyard and duke it out.
  5. When you take your kids to the Texas State Fair and you drive through the bad part of town, make your kids roll up their windows, but you can leave yours down.  When the kids ask you why you can leave your window down, “Because I can punch the bad guys in the nose,” is an appropriate response.
  6. When your kids ask you for money, say “Do you think I’m made of money?”  Then give them the money anyway cause those hood rats look like little angels and you can’t say no. (Also if you treat your kids like crap they may put you in a ghetto nursing home versus one of those posh retirement villages which is basically like a summer camp for old people.  Plan ahead.)
  7. Take your kids to an awesome concert when they are young. That way when people are reminiscing about their first concert they can say something cool like “Pink Floyd Division Bell Tour April 1994” instead of something super lame like New Kids on the Block.
  8. Teach your kids CB lingo and let them play on your CB.  You can pretend like you’re in Smokey and the Bandit and it makes road trips way more entertaining.  10-4.
  9. Above all, if you’re having a shitty day or are contemplating life, put on some Beatles tunes and relax.

Dad May The Force Be With You